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The Lord giveth…

August 21, 2009

I’ll be honest, what drives me nuts about Tim Tebow isn’t the fact that he beat us 49-10 last year, or that he is a jort-wearing virgin, or even that he says “y’know” like he’s from North Dakota at least 3 times in every sentence. What drives me nuts is that he can’t even fart in a loud manner without somehow adding to his legend. There would quite literally be a 3-minute segment of Saint Timothy making cookies on ESPN, if he did it with cameras around, and Gator nation would think it was awesome. “Oh my god… Tebow is the man, he wins heismans and he can BAKE!” They would assert that if somehow he didn’t become the all-time greatest QB the NFL had ever seen, he would be a millionaire bakery owner, who brought half of his customers to Jesus.

But it ends this year. Tebow’s closet egotistical personality finally came to light when he shunned his usual show of piety and appeared in GQ magazine, sans shirt, with an article titled “Does God have a Tim Tebow Complex?”

Oh Timmy, how your head doth grow. It doesn’t take a bible-belt Southerner to know that the title of the article is grossly self-indulgent, if not overtly blasphemous.

So what does this mean for Tebow in 2009? Quite simply, God will smite Tim Tebow.

I don’t think he will actually die, per se, as that is a bit Old Testament, but I do believe a hugely disappointing season or somewhat debilitating injury, costing him the Heisman and 2nd National Title, is not outside the realm of the unthinkable. The Lord works in mysterious ways they always say… could it be that the Dawgs will do his will?

Georgia Football 2009 – doing God’s work.

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