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Plastered Picks – Week 2

September 12, 2009

Alas, I have not forgotten you my loyal readership (small and not very loyal though you may be at this point), though we are now in the early dawning hours of yet another day of battle, it is not too late to bring you the 2nd installment of plastered picks. Nay, it is actually the perfect time, as I was just dropped off at my front door to comes staggering in from a night full of drinking and yelling at Georgia Tech fans in five points. Here’s one for ya: what do you call 3 men wearing gold and white in a yellow jeep wrangler? Answer: Gay. I’m sure at some point in the night they were more creative than that, all i know is that “Josh Nesbitt likes boys” seems to elicit a pouting face from overweight GT males in their 30’s.

By the way, if you’ve never eaten at Vortex Burger, I suggest you do it first chance you get. Sit down and ask for Thelma. Tell her D sent ya. Then order yourself a pitcher of Red Brick Octoberfest and a Coronary Burger. Thank me later.

Anywhoo… week 2 picks…. hoping to be better than last week, cuz after all, not only was I flat out bad last week, I was oh-for-five. I’ve since decided that I wasn’t nearly plastered enough last week, and as you may have guessed i’ve since remedied that problme. Reversal of fortune coming right up.

Vanderbilt @ LSU (-14.5) – What the hell is somebody supposed to do with LSU this week. You figure you’ve got them as a solid pick to cover a 14 point spread against notoriously bad Washington, and they go and make it interesting. I knew better than to drink the LSU kool-aid in 2007, and was dead on in my prediction of 5 losses. I got stupid and believed that their defense would improve this year. Now I’ve returned the kool-aid for a refund, it’s bitter. That said, Vandy doesn’t have a Jake Locker. So I said all that just to pick LSU to cover again. They let me down again this week, I won’t pick them again this year.

UCLA @ Tennessee (-7.5) – So Tennessee was impressive last week, right? Wrong. They may have put some points on the board but it shouldn’t be lost in translation that Western Kentucky was playing it’s first ever D-I game. Maybe UT will be a tad better than expected though. Against UCLA? They should be fine. The Pac-10 still sucks, even though Cal might have a pulse this year. Vols cover.

MSU @ Auburn (-14.5) – I only barely missed my auburn pick last week… they still suck. Louisiana Tech gave them a run for their money, and I certainly expect MSU to do the same. Bulldogs cover, maybe even win.

South Carolina @ Georgia (-7) – Gamecock fans are stupid for thinking they’ll win this one. Seeing Georgia lose must have been so intoxicatingly exciting for them that they had a mental ecstasy binge and completely blacked out in the part of their memory that stored their opener against NC State. That was NC state, not OK State. UNRanked, as opposed to, #9. Georgia comes back and gets a big win to get back on track and gamecocks everywhere once again realize that Spurrier should be playing golf on Saturdays. Dawgs cover.

That’s it for this time. Florida is again notoriously absent from the real college football game list for the week, and they are joined by Bammer and Arky as well. I think Kentucky might be of as well. I don’t know. I’m going to go pass out now.

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